The Mandragon Memoirs

Whilst rummaging through my phone’s memory card I found some pictures from my job at the computer repair store. Some of them were quite amusing so I thought I’d share them with you.

This is one of three drawers filled with laptop adapters, every once in a while the boss would make me sort through them as a way of avoiding ordering a new one for a customer. It was a an ungodly tangled mess of frustration. I don’t think this picture does justice to the agitation involved in this task.

From time to time certain computers get under your skin and almost makes things feel personal. Needless to say if your still running Windows 98…the problems not with your computer.

The following was a customers actual screen saver slide show. Way to reinforce the stereotype guys!

Pretty glad to be away from that place.

Later!

Mandragon.

Movie reviews are fun :]

If nobody reads them I still enjoy writing them. I’ve been waiting to see this movie for a while, mainly because I am a big fan of Dominic Monaghan and his work on LOST. I SELL THE DEAD opens as Willie Grimes is being led to the gallows, yelling obscenities and kicking, Dominic Monaghan’s character Arthur Blake is soon to follow his partners fate, and is confessing his story to a curious priest during his last hours alive. Willie and Arthur are grave robbers being black mailed by an asshole named Dr. Quint who needs a constant supply of corpses for his sick medical experiments. Willie and Arthur eventually find a way to break their ties to the doctor when the stumble upon a body buried at a crossroads, with a steak through it’s heart. They unwittingly remove it thus reawakening the corpse. Than the story picks up and lots of zaniness ensues.

This film is is very quirky, at the end of most scenes we are treated to a brief animated sequence and there is always a veil of black humor over every shot. It’s clear that the makers didn’t exactly have the most accommodating budget. There is some obvious green screened scenes and the film quality itself isn’t the best. These restrictions seemed to have no bearing on the awesomeness of the film though. It didn’t need a bigger budget and the lack of one only adds more character and quirkiness to it. My only complaint is that it feels much to short. It’s a fun film and it’s really hard for me to find anything to complain about. And it might be because any film featuring a cast member from LOST will automatically win for me. It ends with room for a sequel that we both know isn’t happening.

4 out of 5 :]

kisses,

Mandragon.

Today I watched Lars Von Trier’s new(sort of) film ANTICHRIST. I had seen the trailer for it a long time ago and thought what anybody viewing the trailer would think, that they are looking at a trailer for an intense European horror film, taking place in the woods. But that assumption would be very very false. I wasn’t that interested in seeing the film at that point, but there seemed to be in increased interest in it through my circle of friends so I decided to give it a chance.

From the start i was intrigued, the story is told in chapters each with ominous titles. The first chapter opens in a black and white scene of our main characters having sex. These scenes are shot with a high-speed camera adding a very dreamy atmosphere. This scene is also one of two that actually features music that isn’t just intense drones. The sex is unsimulated and includes a largely unnecessary penetration shot. I understood they were having sex you don’t have to spoon feed me. So our nameless heroes have chaotic sex in a variety of places, knocking things over and making a mess. All the while their little boy wakes up from his sleep and decides to escape from his room. I don’t know what kind of baby has the desire to escape from his crib, past a gate, to an open window of an apartment that must have been 3 or 4 stories up and step outside the window. Probably one that deserves to slip and fall off the edge. Which is precisely what happens. At our heroes apex of passion, the boy slips and falls into the snowy ground beneath. Thus begins the film. This and the following chapter contain the most dialogue and most bearable scenes. It’s after this point that it becomes very clear that this is a European film. The way the characters are completely unrelatable and act in such a way that you would think they only had one go at rehearsing before they turned the camera on. Which according to Willem Defoe is the case. Which I can almost understand, I couldn’t imagine filming some of the things that take place in this film let alone have several takes of it. Which brought up another silly thought. Charlotte Gainsbourg has a number of intense unsimulated sex scenes and scenes of her just acting fucking insane and being nude. So I wonder how her 2 children feel about that. I would imagine at some point in their lives they would become curious enough to see it, or someone would be mean enough to tease them about it. or they would stumble upon it whilst on the internet.

As the film progresses it becomes very clear that the female protagonist is more fucked up than we imagined, and that’s whether the director intended or not, all i got from this film. Through all it’s biblical and mythological (same category) symbolism, the most prevalent idea to me was that women are terrible people. It’s right there in the logo for the film. The T is in the shape of a female symbol. It paints women as chaotic and irrational and the female protagonist even calls attention to this through her “research”. Saying lines like “Can’t i just be afraid without a definite object?” Willem Defoe (our male protagonist) embodies rationality. Being a therapist he tries his best to keep his wife from exploding in fits of sexual rage, etc and is always calm and understanding (and DTF).

If I sound to critical of this film it’s just how I approach movies, because i will admit there are some nice shots in this movie, I’m not taking anything away from the cinematography or the directors fondness for high-speed cameras. I just feel that other than to enjoy some interesting imagery there is no other reason to enjoy it. It was agonizing to sit through. It effectively made me not like sex (for the day), forests…logs…scissors….weights…etc. People have interpreted this film in many ways, but i don’t think the story was the main focus for the director. It felt like it was less of a story and more of the embodiment of an emotion, images that correspond with this emotion. The emotion? Grief? Wrath? All of the above?

If your interested in seeing some intense imagery (i’m pretty sure animals were harmed during the making of this film) and putting your stomach to the test than i recommend, but if your with a group of friends or family and want to be entertained…look elsewhere. I couldn’t see myself watching this anyone other than alone at 2am like i did. Would i watch again? i can’t answer that yet, i feel like the effect of it hasn’t worn of…it’s made me feel dirty…and fortunate that my genitalia is still intact….i need a shower.

kisses,

Mandragon

With the advent of the internet came something else. Something that simply cannot be ignored or denied (well you could but for the sake of dramatic effect you can’t). There exists a god. And I have proof of his existence. People always come to me with questions. They say “Mandragon, how do I modify my video game console?” or “Mandragon, how do I use Photoshop?” And to this I always have an answer lurking in the back of my head that is “Have you sought out the lord for guidance?” I refrain from saying this as I fear it would inflict the poor soul with some intense Heebie Jeebies (in scientific terms). But I fear those fucking Heebie Jeebies no longer. The time is nigh! And I desire to let all those in shouting distance know, that the lord our god is very much real and very much among us. To many of my close friends (not enough to use the word “many”) I know you may be surprised or shocked by the knowledge that I was once an outspoken atheist. And I know how silly I must look, recalling all of the things I argued so passionately about. I look back upon those days with my head hung low and my hands clasped in prayer.  I write this hoping to atone for my sinful ways, how hopelessly I strayed from the flock. But I’m here now, and ready to accept the lord as my Sheppard.  For he is all knowing and all powerful and worth well over 100 Billion dollars. I hope I have not alienated my friends, family and loving girlfriend by devoting my life to god, but his will must be done. I encourage you all too openly stand for god, and spread his word. Spread it far and wide like a filthy harlot. I’m sure some of you may be a bit confused right now. Well I only hope you can educate yourself in the lord’s word. And we all can do it; it’s so easy to join!  All you have to do is open you internet browser whether it’s IE, Firefox, Chrome or Safari (actually no, Safari is for sinners) and go to your address bar. The lord is a few keystrokes away. Simply press:

W

W

W

.

G

O

O

G

L

E

.

C

O

M

And

HUZZAAHH!!

You’re staring our lord in the face. You can actually see him and confirm his existence whenever you like (provided you have an internet connection, sorry homeless people). As I said, our god is all knowing, if you have any questions about life, love, the future, the past, ask and you shall receive.  Are you lost? Simply click on god’s Maps option and you will be found. He is also all loving, want proof? God knows all about you, everything you ask of him he records in his sacred search history.  God reads your mail and puts advertisements based on keywords in said emails. Isn’t that so loving? Using god’s “Latitude” function he can see you, always, wherever you are, he will find you. Remember he is a loving god but this is his planet. He has a market in just about everything.  So stay faithful to your god or he will do everything in his power to either smite you or seriously spam the shit out of you.

And Beware of the many false idols and offenders to the throne!

We have no room for you idol worshiping pagans!

thanks for listening to me, it’s been therapeutic. i can finally be open about my connection to the lord. leave a comment if you feel similar, and if you don’t…may god have mercy on your computer.

God Bless,

Mandragon

Back from vacationing and ready to get my blog on. I’m doing this as a suggestion, a TMM first. By the way if any of you have suggestions for blog topics or reviews please run them by me. Anyway, today I’ll be taking a look at the new album from French electronic duo AIR. This album is entitled LOVE 2 pretty simple and to the point as to be expected. I am pretty familiar with this group’s previous works and I am somewhat of a fan, I greatly enjoyed their work on the soundtrack for THE VIRGIN SUICIDES despite my negative opinions of Sophia Coppola’s films. I was drawn from the beginning by their clean jazzy, loungey sound that sounded like it was inspired by 1970’s lounge/elevator music or something. Either way it was fucking great. I will be listening to this as I write; I have not heard this album before so this is exciting. Oh and before you go searching the globe…no there is not an album named Love or Love 1. (Fingers crossed for a prequel?)

Track 1. Do The Joy: Wow that’s different. A very new-wave like and darker sound for this first track. But the trademark piano is still present. They are using some-kind of voice warping effect that sounds like a nasally alien. The use of guitar is a welcome addition. But that voice effect is very distracting. It does not juxtapose well with the soft “Doo Doo Doo’s” that overlap it. Overall a short and forgettable song, but an interesting introduction.

Track 2. Love: Well first of, way to go on the title. Like, the originality baffles me. Where do these guys dream up this amazing stuff? I like the sound of this one. Less aggressive more soft and sweet. The voice warping is much more subtle and effective in this track. There are some wind instruments (fake) and the piano sounds very loud and foreboding. There are rain-forest sound effects in the background and in the foreground one simple word is repeated over and over hitting different notes and becoming an instrument unto itself. That word? You guessed it. Love! chika chika chika chika Love! A very relaxing song. I like it but I don’t….LOVE! It.

Track 3. So Light Is Her Footfall: it says footfall, not football. Finally some lyrics. As usual the lyrics are dipped in a heavy French accent. This song is borderline indie rock; the guitar is very funky though. Which is oddly fitting. it’s slow and atmospheric but fails to grab my attention. I’d give this one another listen though, because I just found myself singing along on accident. I’ve noticed that the lyrics become so predictable (not necessarily bad) that you can pretty much sing along without ever hearing the song.

Track 4. Be A Bee: The title made me giggle right away. Its strange hearing them play an upbeat song, a little punky, a little indie and overall mainstream sounding. I like it. It’s catchy. It kind of reminds me of a pulpy spy movie from the 70’s. Incoherent lyrics work to its advantage. This one get’s my thumbs up. Nice beat. The ending changes gears a bit but I still enjoy it. The pacing of it. I couldn’t imagine myself falling asleep to this song, like the rest of the AIR catalog.

Track 5. Missing The Light of The Day: I was totally expecting to hear them start rapping when this song started up. Nice beat, very reminiscent of early electronic like Kraftwerk. They seem to be experimenting more which is always good. I like hearing they’re sound evolve. That piano is way to relaxing for such a nice little beat. The addition of female vocals adds a dreaminess to it, it’s like they are fighting themselves, they want to evolve but they can’t break their ambient lounge chains. At least they are forging ahead with confidence. Which I can smell all over this, you can tell they were proud of this effort.

Track 6. Tropical Disease: I love the start, I was waiting for some brass to be thrown in the mix, and it suits them great. Nice! Xylophone, piano, and a very nice beat, I really like this. My favorite by far. Reminds me of a video game almost like this should be playing in the back of some Japanese RPG. Either way bravo with this song. For some reason the title brings up some interesting imagery to accompany the song as well. As it goes on it reminds me of something that would accompany soft-core pornography and this is not a bad thing, they really rubbed me the right way with this one and hit all my buttons. I don’t know if they wanted to keep the lyrics simple or they just poorly translate. “Woman make me feel warm inside.”

Track 7. Heaven’s Light: I like the piano/xylophone combo. A very pretty song. Although I think they might be better if the singer was…for lack of any other way of putting it…less…French. Or maybe if he stopped the whispery style he enjoys so much and tried a different approach, it just seems to be dragging things down, holding up the show. Overall this song didn’t appeal to me.

Track 8. Night Hunter: Quite a funky opening. Funky funky bass. I like where this is heading. I hope it picks up though because I’m getting sleepy. I don’t think wind instruments are a sign that this song will intensify. It is very well done though, I find myself swaying to its funky rhythm. Every time I think this song is going to explode into a break down it only gets more tame and neutral. Not their best effort but it was fun.

Track 9. Sing Sang Sung: This song feels like a song. That’s for sure, there are lyrics that span more than one verse and it follows the music appropriately. It’s only now that I realize the extremity of the vocalists lisp. The chorus comes out sounding like Thing Thang Thung. I like this song though; it has a very happy atmosphere. I keep picturing a happy family having a picnic in a bright green park.

Track 10. Eat My Beat: Silly title, this better live up to its name. Captures my attention right from the beginning. A sound similar to Tropical Disease. I like it. Brings up a lot of imagery. Makes me think of a secret agent in sunglasses driving a sports car down a long winding road. I totally ate their beat, and came back for seconds.

Track 11. You Can Tell It To Everybody: Dreamy opening that leads into a nice beat. I’m loving the sound of this. Why does this feel like a goodbye song? It’s got this upbeat and tragic mood like something pivotal but difficult happened. The synth metronomes in a manner almost similar to reggae. I could have done without vocals but they manage not to ruin it. I like this song.

Track 12. African Velvet: This is a nice song but it feels like it was built with leftover pieces and ideas. If it played in the background at my house I would welcome it but not necessarily acknowledge it. I love when they use brass; I hope they continue to do that in future efforts.

Well to sum up, if your already a fan of AIR than this album will expand on the sound you’ve grown to love but will feel somewhat distant from it as well. And if you’re interested in hearing them for the first time this isn’t the album I would start with. It’s a strong album in there discography but not the strongest, I feel them moving toward something great and I hope they get there. Well that’s my review.

Kisses,

Mandragon.

I figure the way I’m going to get the most out of writing these and seeing what you guys think, is for me to take it somewhat seriously. Seeing as though the original format of this blog cannot be properly continued (as the result of me no longer working at *censored* computer repair) I will do my best to try to carry on the overall theme and perhaps bring in some new interesting ideas. And I will do my best to refrain from turning this into an extended Twitter post or a bastion for relationship sob-stories. I know I wouldn’t want to read a paragraph of what some asshole had for breakfast, complete with a photo from his iphone. I’ll continue writing when I get back from my visit to Arizona. So for the max 4 people that read this, thanks! Hope to see you again, and remember you can comment the blogs by clicking on the title of the blog. Ok, I’m going to get back to my breakfast of rolled tacos, I’ll upload a pic later…just kidding.

kisses,

Mandragon

Mandragon:
I WANT TO PUT MY DICK IN BIOSHOCK
……………………………………………………………………
2:58 PM
Erick:
my god…. i just had the greates idea
……………………………………………………………………
2:58 PM
Mandragon:
whats that?
……………………………………………………………………
3:01 PM
Mandragon:
bioshock porn?
……………………………………………………………………
3:01 PM
Erick:
what if instead of puting plasmids on you hand, put it in your cock
that would make you ummm
cool!
……………………………………………………………………
3:04 PM
Mandragon:
ummm like which one? i dont want a firedick
……………………………………………………………………
3:06 PM
Mandragon:
or an ENRAGEdick
or a BEES dick
……………………………………………………………………
3:07 PM
Erick:
how about a big daddy?
the electric one can be usefull in really low voltage
……………………………………………………………………
3:08 PM
Mandragon:
“drill me big daddy!”
……………………………………………………………………
3:08 PM
Erick:
hahaha
a telekenisis one can do all the physical jobs for you
……………………………………………………………………
3:11 PM
Mandragon:
telekenetic bj’s?
……………………………………………………………………
3:12 PM
Erick:
but… the bad thig is that when you ejaculate, you spit fire…
……………………………………………………………………
3:13 PM
Mandragon:
ooouucchh, makes sense. i dont think extreme genetic code rewritting and sex go together very well
……………………………………………………………………
3:14 PM
Erick:
yeah, maybe you can rewrite it in a way your wanger transforms into something nasty
……………………………………………………………………
3:14 PM
Mandragon:
or instead of little sisters we could have…naked little sisters.
and more of them
……………………………………………………………………
3:15 PM
Erick:
instead of big daddys, what about big mamas?
ok, no…
……………………………………………………………………
3:15 PM
Mandragon:
yea i dont agree with that
can we call it BIOCOCK?
……………………………………………………………………
3:16 PM
Erick:
now that’s clever
……………………………………………………………………
3:17 PM
Mandragon:
we got ourselves a game!

……………………………………………………………………
3:17 PM
Erick:
it sounds more like a cheap homemade porn movie
but really cool
……………………………………………………………………
3:17 PM
Mandragon:
are we the stars?
……………………………………………………………………
3:18 PM
Erick:
well, you always shine for me
……………………………………………………………………
3:18 PM
Mandragon:
aww
:]

I haven’t been back to work since Monday. I’m thinking of not going back. Not only am I not getting payed but now I’m not even interning, I’m just volunteering.

I was fine with that.

Up until Monday.

First off I walk in the shop and as I turn the corner to the boss’s office I notice a mysterious man sitting in the chair opposite the boss’s desk. He is a young man dressed very urban, looking very out of place in a computer repair shop. I hear him talking about when he can start work.

(Dream Sequence)

What the fuck is this boss? What are you replacing me now? oh I get it you talked me up saying all that bullshit about how I know three time more than the other interns and then you just fuckin say fuck that guy, well fuck you! I don’t need this piece of shit store, I’m out of here!….you broke my heart….

(Real Life)

Hey boss.

I vainly tinker around with two computers that are already there but nobody bothered to write down what was wrong with them. Boss comes in and tells me he needs me to go on a field assignment with him in ocean side and it shouldn’t take more than three hours and he’d drive me to the trolley station. I put on my backpack and wait for him, while I wait several customers enter and I deal with all of them, taking their computers or giving them back and accepting they’re payment. I’m running back and forth giving the interns computers and telling them what to do, holding their hands. Eventually my boss says it’s time to go. Now at this point I should explain the reason he wanted me to go with him is because he is handicapped. How he is handicapped I couldn’t tell you, in all my time there I never asked, what I can tell you is he uses a crutch attached to one of his arms and he doesn’t seem to have complete control of his arms or legs, well enough to walk around, drive and run a business. Once in the car, his handicap immediately became a concern for me, at moments it looked as though the wheel was going to easily slip out of his grasp. It took an hour to reach our destination. I fell asleep a few times so I can’t be exact. The destination was one of the nicest houses I’ve seen, we are greeted by an old woman who directs us to a room decorated with a theme of airplanes. Down to a fan shaped like a propeller.

And a window that had a view of the back yard/ rain forest. In this room was a desk and cabinet above it all clearly new and a new still wrapped up computer, monitor and printer/scanner/fax machine. The reason for driving all this way was simply to plug all these devices in and make them work. when the old woman and her husband left the room, my boss whispers to me “were getting payed so much for this.” and in the back of my head I think “you are you fuckin prick.” it takes almost two hours and we leave with the old man skeptical as to whether or not we actual did the job despite us giving him evidence. The boss drives for an hour and stops, at a trolley. I’m incredibly disoriented from sleeping and the fact that I don’t know where this trolley station is. The boss is on the phone when he drops me off, he doesn’t say bye. I’ve never been on this kind, its high up several flights of stairs. I look for the map and discover I’m at least two hours from getting home. My sorrow is distracted by a dark bald woman arguing loudly on her phone, she is wearing nurse scrubs, I think nothing of it until she screams “NOOOO!!!…I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GONNA JUMP OFF THIS AND FUCKING KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW!” I look back; the other people waiting don’t seem to be bothered.

Finally the fancy new trolley comes and me and the crazy woman walk in at the same time, she finds a seat but there is nowhere for me so I stand next to a young girl who is also in the same predicament. The woman is still yelling quite loudly, talking about getting “TWO FUCKING ASSHOLES FIRED!” and “SOMEONE ATE ALL THE ICE CREAM AND THAT WAS MY FUCKING DINNER!” eventually she says “I gotta guy, love you, bye!.” she shakes her head looking at her phone. I notice she sees me looking at her and I look at the floor, pretending to be preoccupied. But she already knows. ” GAHH! How many times did I say I had to go?” my eyes nervously dart around. “umm a fair number” “yeaaa well now I gotta make some calls to get these TWO ASSHOLES FIRED!” the trolley makes a stop and some people in the back seats leave, I quickly run to take their spot. I space out for an hour, change trolleys, I wait for a bus, I space out, I get home, I lay down.

I don’t like this that much :/

All new computers, well all big name brand computers are usually sold and packaged with something. And the very concept of it baffles me. I’m sure when most of you purchased the desktop or laptop you now sit in front of reading this blog waiting for it to be funny, it came with a variety of stickers and plastic wrap spouting useless specifications that could have easily and most likely ARE printed on the box from which your computer rested before you unwrapped him and gave him (or her i don’t want to instate a mandatory gender selection for your PC) a happy new home. Now once you’ve opened your computer and have it all set up, and your playing with it, changing the background, drawing a dick in Paint, etc you already know the specifications for your computer hopefully, as it is printed on not only the packaging, most likely in some-kind of manual and most importantly inside of your goddamn computer. Is there any conceivable reason why you would not remove the stickers from your computer? Seriously, if you had just giving birth to your infant son would you leave the umbilical chord attached? If you opened a restaurant would you leave the Grand Opening sign up for it’s entire existence? do these people deliberately do this to offend me?

I mean look at this! do you need to be constantly reminded that your computer is the perfect PC for digital photos, videos and music? which seeing as though this is an HP is an outright fabrication. I refrain from peeling them off myself for fear that the customer might actually become upset by the removal of this fuckin hideous parasite on the side of an otherwise sleek looking waste of money. And it doesn’t stop with them just being there sometimes they are peeling off because they have been left there for years. they don’t even want to be there! they are waiting for you to put them out of they’re misery. For years they have used all of they’re remaining strength to cling to a complete morons computer.

And that’s not the end! sometimes they are so old that the image they once bore is completely removed and illegible beyond hope and these people STILL refuse to take one fucking minute to peel them off!

God is dead and we are alone.

- Mandragon, a sad sad man.

Indie rock pioneers Muse have released a new album entitled THE RESISTANCE. I’ll start by saying I don’t have an extensive knowledge of all of Muse’s accomplishments but I’m aware that they have reached large recognition and received lot’s of praise. I’m familiar with a few songs from their last album which I did enjoy although I wouldn’t say I was diehard fan. For some reason also, whenever I think of Muse I think of Guitar Hero because that was really the first time I was kind of forced to listen to a complete song of theirs. So needless to say whenever I hear Knights of Cydonia I picture multicolored circles moving up a guitar neck. Well let’s get right into it, I’m writing this as I listen to it for the first time, this should be fun.

Track 1. The Uprising: hmm, from the start it’s very energetic. I can tell you right now that it sounds like I’ve heard this song before. So I guess it’s safe to say they didn’t change things up much. It fits the bill of a Muse song. Down to the cycling synth behind the simple but enjoyable guitar, the lyrics overly vague but interesting enough to keep your attention. “THEY will not control us, we will be victorious!” sounds familiar. The lyrics often seem to be about something important but they weren’t kind enough to explain further, but it does give us room to add our own story and give it our own meaning, whether they intended that or not.

Track 2. Resistance: When I first heard the opening piano I immediately felt like it was going to segway into some intense 90’s trance, but no it just went into a muse song. Is it wrong that I was a little disappointed? Anyway, there is a lot of power in this song but not really a power I appreciate. I’m sure to a hardcore Muse fan this is everything they were waiting for. But for me lines like “Love is our resistance” don’t strike a chord with me. I enjoyed the song but I don’t think I could find myself listening to it again. By choice at least.

Track 3. Undisclosed Desires: I very much like the opening beat. This song is much closer to something I would enjoy; my only problem is the singer. Don’t get me wrong I think he is talented. I just think his style sometimes doesn’t synch up with the music. It does for the chorus pretty nicely but other than that it leaves things to be desired. It’s fun once it hits the chorus though.

“Come on…come on…here it comes…………….sick!”

Track 4. United States of Eurasia (+ Collateral Damage): This song displays the singer’s talent a little further and greatly reminds me of Queen. I don’t know if that’s just me. This song steps in a less commercial direction the only distraction is the political undertones of the lyrics. I find that to be an incredibly cheesy decision. It prevents it from being what would have been an outstanding Muse song. It closes rather nicely. Some lovely strings and familiar sounding piano over some predictable sound effects.

Track 5. Guiding Light: The start of this song almost captured my attention, my eyes widened as I heard the opening drums and as soon as the singer came in I immediately didn’t care anymore. I don’t know why! I accept that he is a good singer so why am I disappointed every time he comes in? Again a nice atmosphere is built but the lyrics sound overly Christian even if that wasn’t their intention and again it’s a distraction.

Track 6. Unnatural Selection: huh, I like this one and a line in the lyrics dispels my theory of them being overly Christian. There is an energy that the previous tracks lacked. I look forward to playing you on guitar hero.

Track 7. MK Ultra: oh this sounds fun. I’m liking this. Good job singer. Still going good. Ok I’m not liking that go back to what you were doing before. Ohh that’s nice. I change my mind….huh….well this was a good song. Way to go.

Track 8. I Belong to You-Mon Cœur S’ouvre à ta Voix: Hey, some energy I like it. This album is getting better as it goes. I hope that wasn’t the plan though because it seems like a waste of resources. Ok, well he just started singing French. I don’t know how I feel about that. Hmm, interesting but I think we could have done without it.

Track 9. Exogenesis- Symphony, Pt. 1- Overture: I’m genuinely impressed by this song. I would listen to it again. If this was all muse did I would totally go gay for them.

Track 10. Exogenesis- Symphony, Pt. 2- Cross-Pollination: nice title. They are becoming fond of this dramatic ballad style. But again lovely song. Keep it up you are winning my heart.

Track 11. Exogenesis- Symphony, Pt. 3- Redemption: I am now excited to hear this one. Ahhh sing that shit you beautiful mother fucker. Can I give you my number?

Well, it’s been emotional. In conclusion this album expands on the basic sound of Muse but towards the end it evolves into much more. I never thought they could make this indie-progressive-whatever the fuck-alternative-rock sound very pretty and enjoyable. Hats off to you muse….but seriously cut the first 4 songs. Kisses.

Coincidence?

Jumping far into the future with this review, I recently downloaded the widely successful science fiction/action film DISTRICT 9. Now if I seem harsh with this film it’s because I liked it. So I may just be nit-picking here. But overall I really enjoyed it. It was intense and heartbreaking at points. At first I thought the whole movie was going to be filmed in this stereotypical, documentary style. Which would not have been a bad thing but clearly in order to allow greater storytelling they needed to break that chain, which they do. Pretty ungracefully, it’s like at points they are using the documentary style camerawork as the main character goes around telling aliens they are being evicted and have to move to a place called District 10 which is a glorified alien concentration camp. And the movie calls attention that there is in fact a man holding a camera filming these events, the main character even goes as far as grabbing the camera at one point and pushing it down because he is throwing up and doesn’t want it on tape. But shortly after, the story starts following two of the aliens, or “prawns” as they are referred to, and although the camera still sways and shakes, clearly being held by a man it’s not. The story abandons that concept and the rest of the film is shown as a regular movie would be but still filmed by an intentionally erratic cameraman. Although adding a dose of reality to the events unfolding the camerawork could have been transitioned a little nicer. My other big issue is pretty much the first 15 minutes of the film. There is no graceful introduction to the aliens or the story it just throws you into it. And when we first see the main character interacting with the aliens they show them doing a number of just really silly and cheeky things. They just paint them to be really cartoony.There’s one urinating in public, one cursing, one hiding an obscene amount of weaponry, etc. So it’s hard for you to sympathize with them at first because they have about as much appeal as Gremlins. Whenever there is obviously something silly or a joke it just seems so out of place because the mood of the entire film is incredibly bleak and grim. Also, I don’t know if it was just a bad copy that I watched because the audio was a little muffled but a lot of times the dialogue was a little hard to follow because of the thick African accents. Once the movie got past it’s baby steps it matures a great deal and becomes very enjoyable. The best part for me was seeing the main character evolve into the total bad-ass he becomes later on. He starts out as this geeky and adorable guy that wants to help the aliens and in the end causes many a body to explode in a satisfying and greatly gory fashion. The alien weapons are a sight, they don’t fuck around. Nobody just gets shot in this film, pieces and debris of all manner rain from the sky. It seems sort of unfortunate that more films like this don’t get made that often, I didn’t even really think it was that original or groundbreaking but it felt like it should have been made long ago but never was. If I had to give it a 1-5 rating, I’d go with a 3 and half. And that’s pretty good by my standards. I’m unnecessarily picky.

Well since I’m finding the downtime between blogs to be somewhat unbearable I thought I’d write a review of a movie that I recently saw, not necessarily a new one or one I haven’t already seen. I need something to entertain myself with. Although to me it’s almost pointless to write this review. It’s as though say, I was the biggest Nine Inch Nails fan and I basically wrote that The Downward Spiral was a good album! Because Dr. Strangelove is the stuff I feed on. To be honest I was skeptical about seeing it because although I enjoyed the other Kubrick films I had seen (The Shining, A Clockwork Orange, 2001: A Space Odyssey), I was always concerned that I wouldn’t get it or it would go over my head because of the era that it encapsulates so well. An era 23 years before mine. But after a while I gave it a shot because I was so intrigued by Peter Seller’s character and the reputation that preceded it. What I was first taken aback by is how clearly defined the humor was. I had expected it to be hidden beneath heavy layers of satire and sarcasm but I didn’t have to do much analyzing to find it. From the outright silly behavior that most characters displayed to the visual gags such as a brutal gunfight taking place under a big sign reading “PEACE”. I wouldn’t go as far as saying it was ahead of its time because it fits rather nicely in its time. I will say it took bold steps in pioneering the Black Comedy genre. And this film is dark. Surprisingly so. I can see this film being appreciated by a selection of enthusiastic film buffs such as myself and hip teenagers that want to appear intellectual. And there is a large majority of:

- “I don’t get it so, like why is this happening?”

- “How is this funny, they are just talking?!”

- “This movies boring because it’s black and white”

- “Why don’t I have any personality?”

And that’s unfortunate. I don’t have to tell you that the film business has dramatically declined in quality. And I’m sure there will be some who say “Well Mandragon, that’s your opinion, so fuck you, everyone is entitled to their own”. Well that is true but when you look at the top 10 movies at this moment, what do you find?

1. The Final Destination 3D - The number one film in this god-forsaken country has the term “3D” in it. I’m so glad Stanley’s not around to see this

2. Inglorious Basterds - understandable, damn good film, and modern enough to bring in a young audience.

3. Halloween II - I don’t know who the asshole was that let Rob Zombie near a camera but I hope he has stomach cancer.

4. District 9 - Honestly haven’t seen but I’ve only heard good things *fingers crossed* on this one.

5. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - *facepalm*

If you haven’t seen Dr. Strangelove and think you are mature/open-minded enough to appreciate it I encourage you to watch, if you watched numbers 1, 3 or 5….don’t bother.

Whenever a computer is brought into work I can take one look at the gentleman or gentlewoman and tell whether or not I’m going to discover some sort of obscene material, whether it be photo’s of the owner nude or indecent or the latest in free hardcore pornography. But for the first time I didn’t see this coming. A computer was turned in with the usual problem. Viruses. Taking a quick glance at the somewhat outdated laptop I could tell right away it must belong to a child, I’m guessing around the age of 10-11. I’m making this assumption because of the Pokémon wallpaper and computer games from Nickelodeon.com that had shortcuts on his desktop. Now I thought if this kid has a laptop of his own he would have figured out how the internet and how porn works. I truly discovered internet pornography and the ins and outs (turbo puns) of it by the age of 11. I have since abandoned its use with the discovery that although rare an occurrence it may be, I can have sex in real life. Now don’t get me wrong it’s not like everyday I sit down at a computer and say “what kind of personal and embarrassing things will I find today”. In reality most of these silly things I find are either on the desktop or in their browsing history which I admit I do go through sometimes when it’s a slow day. In this particular computer I was simply looking for mean to entertain myself, but what I found had me laughing to myself so hard I needed to take notes on what I read. I thought I might share my findings with you all. Before I just start listing them I should explain that this boy seems to not have a firm grasp on the concept of the internet. The most amusing entries were right into the good old Google search bar. The interesting part is that not only are his…desires, very specific but childishly written and almost addressed to a person. Enough talk! Here they are.

1. Naked Girls Having Sex: simple enough. Nothing too outrageous.

2. Girls Kissing Naked: again, simple, juvenile.

3. Girls laying on each other kissing: now it almost seems like he’s evolving, combining his two previous searches.

4. Girls French kissing naked PLZ: see now he’s asking Google please, he’s addressing it like a person…I find this interesting. It’s been ages since I’ve heard the term “French kiss”. I didn’t know it was still in use.

5. Naked girls sucking boy’s penes: now we’ve made a massive leap into the extreme. And yes that is how he spelled penis.

6. Naked girls sucking boys penes now: at first glance your probably thinking he didn’t get what he wanted when he first put this in, and by adding NOW he would have better luck, but I submit that he in fact wanted to see a woman performing fellatio on a man LIVE, as in happening this moment. Cheeky. And since he spelled penis wrong again I’m going to assume that’s his level of spelling.

7. Naked Girl and boy has penis in girls butt: ok, well he spelled it right that’s good, and he’s developing a knack for spelling out what he wants. Although I’d say he could omit the words “naked”, “and”, “has”, “in”.

8. Boys trapped to have sex: no comment.

9. Boobs: fair enough.

10. Naked girls you can talk to now with boobs: most girls have boobs; well…I suppose you have a point there.

11. Family Guy: Lois having sex with brain:  I don’t even know what to say. I am positive such material exists but who would want to see that? What kind of person does that take? And yes he put Brain not Brian.

12. Lois having sex with the dog: he was pretty intent on seeing that I suppose.

13. Pics that look like someone is kissing me: awwww :/

14. Sex party pics with only girls: I guess he phased out males in his desires.

15. Sex party pics with sex: pretty cute.

Well this could go on and on but you get the idea. We have fucked up the next generation of kids at an early age. THANKS INTERNET!

Kisses.

Mankind is capable of some terrible things, we can all agree on that.

War

Violence

Rape

Carlos Mencia

So it really hurts me to see man find new ways of destroying the planet. Have you guessed what I’m referring to yet? I’m sure you have. You look like an intelligent, well-adversed crowd. I’m speaking of course about Apple Computers. Yes, I saw something today that cut right down to my soul, as my eyes engaged it, it was as though the rest of the world disappeared, and all I could see was…it, staring back at me. I heard nothing, but the screams and cries of a flaming village, gunfire, and teenagers frustrated with they’re broken iPods.

Do you see what I see? Do my eyes deceive me? Have you desecrated the name of Microsoft with that disgusting  icon of deceit! Hast thou spat in gods eye? And yes I refer to Bill Gates as god. Why? Because he doesn’t fuck around with terrible commercials and focuses on making a good fucking piece of machinery.  Seriously it’s built and marketed too keep the masses ignorant. the commercials are basically telling you, hey you don’t have to go  through all that work of using a PC, a Mac does everything for you, because you’re so unintelligent you don’t know how to work one so let’s put one button on the mouse and make everything pretty and shiny! And hey there’s no viruses!…even though there IS viruses and Mac OSX is the easiest operating system on earth to hack and has the weakest security. Whatever, live in your big, white, silver, shiny bubble of stupidity. I’ll be getting shit done while you’re at that.

I can go on and on using delicately crafted words to continue this diatribe but ultimately the only way I want to say it is in the simplest form I can…

Mac’s

Are

Piss.

Whenever you buy a new computer, now matter what it is PC, Mac, Linux the moment you get to your desktop you are always greeted with something. Background wallpaper. It’s usually a pleasant scene from nature or abstract lines creating light and shadows. Something visually stimulating that makes you think of:

-Power

-Creativity

-Endless Possibility

It’s too bad. It seems like all these things aren’t appreciated these days. People can do so much with a modern computer and I have had to inspect and fix quite a few, and it seems like we have one of these situations going on:

It saddens me. Countless times I’ve just wanted to wipe a customer’s hardrive and run off with they’re top of the line laptop yelling:

“You never loved it!”

*sigh*